Super Vision...

Had my first supervision meeting with Moira and Tim.  It was reassuring and informative whilst at the same time being slightly daunting.  Refreshing to speak to accomplished but yet extremely accessible and generous academics.

Full time PhD courses are 'go go go' from the off.  Relieved that I managed to get a pre start meeting in to find out what lies ahead.  4 research modules and a couple of peer reviewed reports climaxing in a continuation viva in order to secure a place on year 2.

How far is truth susceptible of embodiment? - That is the question, that is the experiment.' Nietzsche

Let the Games Begin...

Finally, after many months patience or not so much patience I was made an unconditional offer by Manchester University. With much enthusiasm I have accepted and commence officially in September 2011.

I reflected that anyone who is keen enough or masochistic enough to apply and stick with the application process should be awarded something. It takes perseverance and focus all the time maintaining a level of motivation. Approaching further education as an adult for me is like crossing a rope bridge...best not to look down or I would freeze.


I have contacted my two supervisors to see if they will be able to meet or chat before that. Be interesting to see what their response is...

"The human mind is like Salome at the beginning of the dance - hidden from the outside world by seven veils. Veils of reserve, shyness, fear. Now, with friends the average person will drop first one veil, then another, maybe three or four altogether. With a lover, she will take off five or even six; but never the seventh."

Dr Larsen

Submitted...

Took the plunge and applied to Oxford and Manchester. Oxford were unable to provide a suitable supervisor but suggested I proceed at least through the application without one. Given the research match with Manchester I have decided once again to make it my primary application.

Revised proposal submitted and awaiting feedback.

Very excited about the potential opportunity of Manchester...

The engine is fired up!

So following the receipt of a distinction in my Masters, I am once again applying to study for a PHd .  Had to let the Manchester offer go after deferring for 3 years.  Been doing a lot of reading and reflecting and am not going to work on the new proposal...

'The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.' Vincent T. Lombardi 

Last chance saloon...

Due to imenant birth of new baby boy I have defferred the PhD until October 2010. Manchester have said that this is the last time that they can defer...fair enough!

'We are not in a position in which we have nothing to work with. We already have capacities, talents, direction, missions, callings. A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life.' Maslow

Time Travel...

Wow that year or so went very quickly...

Close to the dissertation stage of my Masters and have re-applied to Manchester for the PhD.

If all goes it will be a September 2009 start.

'You can't build up a reputation on what you are going to do.'
-Henry Ford

Madchester!

The irony is not lost on me that after all the challenges with London Met's creaking bureaucracy, Manchester University emailed me to say that they had made me an offer of working towards a doctorate with them. Unfortunately the letter got lost in the post - they originally wrote to me in February '08! Manchester's process time 6 weeks - London Met's 6 months and counting...

I am delighted for the acknowledgement of the work I put into the proposal but in the meantime I registered with über (as in the modern use ‘super’ in a good way) efficient Sheffield to partake in their Masters in Psychotherapy. I have created a Master Madness blogspot to track my progress at Sheffield:

http://mastermadness.blogspot.com/

See you back here in a few years?!

'Young men more interested in making loud music, enjoying success and getting fucked rather than making existential statements about being fucked'
Blackmore on Joy Division

Take Two

So I finally got the proposal through the system and received the feedback...area of research sound but proposal a bit radical for standard academia. I was given some great steers on recent policy and legislation with a caveat to re-write a more focused and significantly shorter proposal. Oh yes and to get my head out of the anti-psychiatry movement i.e. the 60s, Laing and BigPharma :(

Well I am happy to say I completed it today and emailed it. So I wait with bated breath for the result.

The whole process has been demanding but extremely exciting as I try and raise my personal bar as high as I can for the benefit of others or at least that's the theory.

Going to read the McDonaldization of Social Work and Crime and Punishment as I head back to UK for a few weeks...

‘They called me mad, and I called them mad, and damn them, they outvoted me’

Mickey Gives You a Dustin...

In an effort to avoid this all getting a bit dusty I thought an update was in order. Eventually after practically stalking the research department and finally getting on the same page as the research director, the proposal has been read and is in the system somewhere?!

In the meantime I sent the proposal to Dr Pat Bracken, co-originator of the concept of Postpsychiatry. He was very encouraging, which gave me a little emergency fuel for my flagging rocket.

Also Donna Dustin from London Met has been like Mickey from Rocky - in my corner - which has been invaluable!

So as we approach March I still await news of the next stage...I am in London in April so it would be a tad useful to have things moving before then.

Robert F. Kennedy: 'Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.'

Still in the Bardo...

Still waiting to hear from university about the PhD. The waiting is hard as the creative juices and enthusiasm are bubbling away...just don't want to peak! ...in the meantime I have continued reading - everything. Finished the Brothers, what a masterpiece, feel a better person for having had the good fortune to come across it and finish it. Clearly a late developer, in my early 20s I had only read a handful of books from start to finish.

Also completed the initial phase of the psychosocial programme including major draft of methodology and a range of training materials. Also managed to conduct some initial research on people in Malaysia's view of mental health - fascinating.

There is a spectrum of experience on this planet that is infinite...from the horrors of war and torture to the unknown heroes trying to make a little bit of difference through kindness and compassion. If one is brave enough not to label, the mass of what is makes total sense in no sense other than the non dualistic manifestation of what is...

In the Meantime...

So the PhD proposal has been received and it is working its way through the system...

...in the meantime I have begun a new project working for a Malaysian NGO offering medical and humanitarian relief to disaster zones. They have retained me to develop and implement a psychosocial programme.

So far I have presented a successful project plan, implementation rationale and timeline to create and implement an internal and external psychosocial strategy and training. This will include a methodology, field manual, filed work and extensive training of staff and volunteers. I haven’t quite figured how this will fit with my PhD.

May have to either a. adjust the PhD focus, b. Put a limit on the project time. Need to give it all careful consideration as it could potentially affect quite a lot of people.

Mission Impossible

Or not...for the proposal is complete and couriering its way across the air to London. Hopefully to be received this week with a view to a decision in about four weeks.

Regardless of the outcome, the satisfaction of completing it was wonderful. I was able to consolidate many years of thinking and study linking Dharma and Cognitive Behavioural theory, Laing and Cooper and even mentioned Tom's scary friends at the CCHR.

So now I am enjoying the luxury of not having to write for a while and reading for sport.

If I go ahead with the PhD then I may continue this blog...for now I will leave you with some words of wisdom from Ronnie:

‘The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds’

Something Amazing Happened!

My good friend Rob emailed me to ask me what had happend with my proposal because there was nothing on the blog. The good news is I have been so busy writing and reading that I completely forgot about the blog.

Amazingly I am at the proofing stage of the final draft and hope to post the proposal tomorrow. It is larger that required but was something I needed to do to consoilidate my reading and refecting. So fingers crossed...

Freud would be pleased!

Started reading Dostoevsky’s, the Brothers Karamazov, it is very hard to put down. If ever there was an award for pretentious displacement activity, other than keeping a blog, then this would be it!

For the proposal, I have been reading cognitive formulations of psychosis (extremely convincing) and Laing. Actually, Laing is now on my top 3 people I would like to meet, I think he was misunderstood and feared due to what he pointed at and represented one of the great thinkers of the last 50 years. I do not agree with everything he says but he seems more relevant to psychiatry today than ever.

Been on fire today viz a viz writing really starting get there and really enjoying the reading around it. Set myself a deadline of next Friday, 2 November 2007. Eeeek!

A united voice

I visited a NGO, self-advocacy group for people with learning disabilities today. Their approach is state of the art compared to mental health practice in Malaysia. It is an organisation run by serves users and the non-service user staff report to the ‘bosses’ it is soaked in empowerment and anti-oppressive practice. They follow the strategy ‘nothing for us without us’ – extremely inspiring!

And so to the writing. Today I further developed my thinking on the rise of CBT and the implications for social work and the service user. All roads lead back to Laing as a defence against the rational-scientific reduction of the human being by the expert.

Received the Oxford Textbook of Philosophy and Psychiatry (thank Ganesha for Amazon), which included all additional reading on a CD, fuelling the temptation to study the MA...

The desert of the real itself...

...or for the unconscious Baudrillard fan, hoofing their popcorn to the words of ‘welcome to the desert of the real’. The blue pill has been swallowed and Alice is running for the door unfortunately only to bang her head as she is too large to fit and thankfully, this isn’t a blog about writing a PhD. No nothing as grand, it’s simply about endeavouring to submit an initial proposal. Desperate I know but I am trying to write it whilst in Malaysia so not many virtual colleagues to share my wining with.

Ah, the blessed PhD. Don’t tell me you have never thought about it? That oasis of academic prestige, a wonderwall of egotistic contribution to the endless avalanche of knowledge as a vain attempt to receive a father’s long lost approval. Finally a way to out fox the shrink on the team by becoming a real doctor. Not some time traveller of pseudo psychotic ramblings but a Pertwee, a Baker a Craig. Actually Craig was a double ‘0’ but that’s a whole other proposal!

So far through a haze of self-doubt and insecurity I have put together around 4,500 words. The question is are they worth the paper? The paper is based on the concept of postpsychiatry and the importance of social work when interacting and listening to the experts by experience of people labelled ‘schizophrenic’...